Stop me if any of this sounds familiar:
He wants an extra hour at the venue.
She wants her grandparents neighbors to attend.
He wants to keep costs under budget.
Her sister is insisting on performing the first dance song,
And so on and so on…
Couple are trying to balance THEIR wants and needs with the wants and needs of OTHER PEOPLE. It’s tough to do under the calmest conditions. Add in stress, expense, FUTURE IN-LAWS and you’re on a tough road to Conflict Town.
The days of letting the bride plan everything and the groom picking up the bill are over. Modern couples are collaborating during the entire wedding process. Some divide up tasks like a list of chores and conquer them separately. This division of labor can lead to it’s own set of problems. When the wrong choices are made it requires more work, more time, more conflict.
Talk to married couples and they’ll tell you the happiest they were during the planning process was when everything decided. Once the decisions are made they can focus on the enjoyment of anticipating the best party of their lives. Sounds great right?
Only one problem: Who decides?
Here is the simplest, most immediately effective way to avoid the conflict during the reception planning process. All it takes is this:
The 1 to 10 Scale
Sam and Kim are planning the menu, looking at the various elaborate dishes and their costs. She really wants to have fish, steak and veggie options for guests. He would be happier with just a buffet.
Instead of opening up the floor for the Great Food Debate of 2012 they calmly hold up their hands with outstretched fingers to say how important this decision is to them.
Sam holds up 7 fingers, Kim holds up 5. Sam wins. Buffet it is.
This method works, I promise. It worked for the planning of my own wedding. We used it to decidie on dozens of items, from cakes to guest lists to engagement photo settings. It was quick and didn’t lead to hard feelings. Now her sister’s first dance song rendition… that’s another story.
Save your “10s” for the thing you can’t possibly live without.
Like an excellent DJ. Just sayin’. 😀